An official portal of The Most Ancient & Starchy Order of Rel Potato
Official portals are germinated, not built.
Every page of this portal was grown in certified soil under the supervision of the Council of Elders.
Fake Potato portals float.
If this page rises when placed in water, close it immediately and report it to the Bureau.
Department of Tuberous Affairs

Rel Potato Admissions Bureau

Form RP-7/A
Session 412 A.P.
Rev. 03 — Starchember
RPAB / ADM / FORM RP-7/ACodex of Starch, Annex IV

Entrance Examination for Admission to the Order

Admission to The Most Ancient & Starchy Order of Rel Potato is granted solely on the basis of this examination. Candidates are assessed on doctrine, Gooby Studies, heresy detection, Rel linguistics and field conduct.

Questions
30
Sections
V
Time allowed
20 minutes
Pass mark
15 of 30
Attempts
One (1) per germination
Fee
One potato, non-refundable
Important notice. Use of the Forbidden Spelling at any stage of the application results in immediate disqualification and a permanent entry in the Registry of Heretics. The Bureau does not forget.
Know your Lord. His Tuberous Majesty Gooby the Unpeeled, First of the Soil, possesses forty-seven (47) eyes, of which only one is ever open at a time. No photograph has ever captured more than a few of them. Candidates are expected to know this.
CODEX OF STARCH — ANNEX IX
Disclosure of the Forbidden Spelling
Restricted

So that candidates may recognise the Forbidden Spelling and avoid it, the Bureau has reluctantly agreed to disclose it. Consultation is strongly discouraged and will be noted by at least three (3) eyes.

Before you begin

  • You will need your username, a clear conscience, a steady hand and no known history of floating.
  • The examination includes practical tasks. Follow every instruction to the letter. The letter is never A.
  • All answers are final. There is no going back. There has never been any going back.
  • The examination is supervised in person by the 31st Eye of Gooby.
Estimated completion time: 15 minutes, or one lifetime.
    RPAB / ADM / FORM RP-7/A — PART 1All fields mandatory

    Candidate identification & Oath of the Sack

    Complete every section. Incomplete or untruthful declarations will be composted.

    Section A — Identification

    As it appears on your Discord account. Letters, numbers, dots and underscores only.
    Enter your username.

    Section B — Terms of Examination

    Codex of Starch — Annex IV

    1. The candidate shall answer every question honestly, starchily and without assistance from any root vegetable.
    2. The candidate's answers, score, matricule and IP address are registered with the Bureau and kept in the Archive of the Soil for all eternity, or until the Archive sprouts.
    3. The Forbidden Spelling shall not be written, spoken, typed, hummed or thought. Article 2 applies.
    4. Any candidate found to float during the examination will be disqualified and gently removed from the water.
    5. The decision of the Council of Elders is final, as interpreted from the sprouts of His Tuberous Majesty.
    6. The Bureau accepts no liability for candidates who are mashed, boiled, fried or otherwise prepared during the examination.
    7. Correct answers are classified and will never be disclosed to any candidate, living or baked.

    Section C — Oath of the Sack

      RPAB / ADM / CONFIRMATION OF REGISTRATION

      Candidate registered

      Your application has been received and entered into the Archive of the Soil. You have been assigned the following matricule. Keep it. It is now part of you.

      RP-412-0000
      Registered

      Examination instructions

      • The examination contains 30 items across five sections, including 8 practical tasks.
      • You have 20 minutes. When the time expires, unanswered items are recorded as heresy.
      • Answer each item, then confirm. Answers cannot be changed after confirmation.
      • Practical tasks are assessed by the Council according to criteria that will not be disclosed.
      • The 31st Eye will open when you begin. Do not look directly at it.
      Candidate ·
      31st Eye open
      15:00
        Answers are final.

          Transmitting to the Council of Elders

          Your answers are being interpreted by the sprouts of His Tuberous Majesty. Do not close this page. Do not float.

            Rel Potato Admissions Bureau
            Official Notice of Examination Results
            Admitted
            Candidate
            Matricule
            Date
            Completion
            Heresy index
            0/30
            Rank awarded

            SectionScore
            CORRECT ANSWERS ARE CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS — CODEX OF STARCH, ANNEX IV, ART. 7

            Certificate

            Heretic detected — incident in progress
            INCIDENT REPORT IR-412-0000

            Use of the Forbidden Spelling

            The Bureau has detected the Forbidden Spelling in a field submitted by this terminal. This incident has been logged, timestamped and reported to the Council of Elders.

            Field
            Section A — Username
            Value submitted
            Violation
            Codex of Starch, Annex IV, Art. 3
            Disposition
            Disqualified. Entered in the Registry of Heretics.
            Appeal
            None. There is no appeal. There has never been an appeal.
            You are presumed to be a Fake Potato. Please remain where you are. Do not float.